plotrevised | Court Inbox

That's me. Infuriating in every situation.

[ he just. sighs ]

I will see if I can use you. But if not, our competition still stands. I could not trust Phainon to ally himself with you, in any case.

Strange way to put it, but that's fine.

Like I said, I don't plan to let him get to Queen before me.

I do wonder if the title will truly ever be reached by only one person. If it is a matter of waiting it out, Phainon's already lived for countless of years.

But why do you have such drive? Is it truly just to end your existence? Or is it for the sake of your servants?

For my Servants, yes.

But also... for others.

I'm not completely settled on my wish. It could be that end. Or it could be... finding a way to support things without going back to how it was before.

...mm. That would not be a terrible way to use this power. And perhaps simply having a goal is better for you.

We'll see which way it goes.

Then I only have one last thing to say. Do not make Lyle cry.

He will actually punch me, next time.

... I can't make any promises.

[Kim Dokja knows damn well his crimes are making people who care about him cry, even when he's not even trying for that.]

mm. At least you are honest.

If you have no questions for me, I will dismiss you.

You can dismiss me but that won't mean I'll leave?

[he'll leave when he wants to.]

I'm not your student.

Do you actually wish to spend further time with me, or are you just saying it out of pettiness?

I do not mind you staying.

[ a pause, then he adds ]

... No, I would like company.

... would you?

...mm.

I do not actually like solitude. And these days have been difficult. As I have said ... the time I spent with you was very enjoyable.

... isn't that because I commanded you to do so?

[okay, actually going to point this out now]

Yes. And what does that say about the both of us, that the only time we can truly enjoy ourselves is when we're forced to? When we've discarded reason.

[... ouch. got him there.]

Is that the kind of company you're wanting?

Why not? If I asked just about anyone else for company, it would turn into a much more annoying ordeal. Save for Linnea, perhaps.

I gave you the opportunity to leave. Whether you stay or not is up to you now.

[hmmm... seems to consider.]

... I have stashed away a fair amount of those candies. If you ever would like or need that sort of thing.

[ It's obvious he's considering it. His overall experience with candy has been negative, but there have been outliers, and Kim Dokja was one of them. He's quiet for a moment, but then. He will reach for him, holding onto whatever piece of cloth is close enough for him to get ]

... If I ask for them, then it will be to enjoy with you. Only with you.

[ he deliberately chooses the words to mirror the orders Kim Dokja gave him, looking at him, at his reaction to that. ]

[it's a complicated reaction.

because, he does very much remember wanting that, pursuing that, even, but... now he's able to think more clearly, feel the weight of all of his choices and the stories he has. and it feels like he shouldn't want that, shouldn't deserve someone saying something like that to him when it very likely will end up with someone getting hurt and not even on purpose or maybe on purpose because someone thinks they know better than the other.

... and yet, there really is the strong desire to just want to do something good that another person simply enjoys and there's no complications or hangups or even having to think about it.

damn.

what does it say about him, really? always wanting something of a fantasy over the reality?

he's not sure.

but he does reach out a hand to give Anaxa's hair a light tug.]

Then ask for them when you want something like that.

[ between the tug and his words his face does get red ]

... Is that another order? I will remember it.

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