plotrevised | Court Inbox

...I know most people would think my hobby isn't really legit but I'm gonna say it.

Have you considered better hobbies?

[He's going to drape his legs over Dokja's thighs, getting comfortable.]

[... rests his hands on those legs.]

It wasn't a hobby. It was just the only way to get to the end I wanted to see.

Yeah? And what end is that?

One where no one had to be sacrificed.

... it was unrealistic. Someone still died, and someone still had to sacrifice themselves in order to maintain that reality.

"No one". Does that ever include you?

... I said it was an unrealistic expectation.

Is being unrealistic so bad?

That depends on the scale of it.

What do you mean?

I mean that there's consequences for the bigger the scale.

You have to be more specific for that to make any sense, you know?

I don't really want to get into the specifics, though...

Okay.

[Accepting. He'll lean over the man and steal a chip.]

[lets him steal chip]

... I'm just... tired of my own story.

Yeah. I got that impression early on.

I don't really have any good ones to share though. I wish I did.

It's fine if you don't.

...Is it?

It is.

Don't worry so much.

Being worried and insecure is like my default state.

How am I supposed to relax if you're not relaxed?

I don't know. That's why I have so much sex. It's super easy to relax when you're getting railed.

Not sure if stories compare. But that's clearly your favorite thing so I can try?

I'd rather people not make things harder on themselves.

If it's not your thing, it's not your thing.

... though I will say... I don't find it that easy to relax when it's sexual. The only times it's been easy has been when I've been affected by something.

You don't like sex then? Or nuts get anxious?

It's not that I don't like it...

[seems to pause, actually considering words. it's Aloys, so it's not like there's going to be any real judgement, after all?]

It's just... a lot. And before this place... I. Pretty much. Didn't have any real experience with it. And, well... interest in men wasn't... my first thought. I only noticed attraction to women.

So it's just a lot. Almost too much.

[especially without Fourth Wall separating him out from everything...]

Sometimes, I think it's probably better to just dive into the deep end, but other times... it feels like I'd rather tear off my own skin than deal with the overwhelm.

[There is in fact a complete lack of judgement, just listening.]

I guess that makes sense. Between being the isolated kid and whatever was going on that made you all powerful and cagey, physical intimacy being a lot... Well yeah.

I can't say I know what you're feeling, physicality is all I've really known my whole life. But I think I can see how it would be a lot.

Sometimes though, being a lot is kind of the point. Being overwhelmed is part of what makes sex appealing to me, because then you don't have to think. And boy do you seem like a guy who could do without thinking for a while.

But that's just from my perspective. I really don't know if that would make you feel better or worse.

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